What would happen if I let go?

Ian Mitchell • December 16, 2021

What would happen if I just let go?
Specifically, if I just let go of the metaphor that underpins the story of my coaching
Or the story of my leadership.
The one I believe defines my purpose and gives me meaning.

The one that creates all those 'shoulds' to help me assess my effectiveness and, ergo, value. That scores my preparedness, performance and position in whatever league table on which I desperately want to leave my mark.
And in so doing exposes me to worry, stress and feelings of deep secret shame.

That one. 
The metaphor that, just by unfolding itself in my psyche, presents its own shadow as something that could be attractive to me, could be helpful to me, could perhaps even make me more professional.

What would happen if I just let go?
Not deconstruct, find fault or make a big thing about it. Not replace it with another metaphor - equally flawed; equally shadowed; equally as capable of causing me to feel like an imposter.
But just, as Barbara Holmes puts it, 'let go of our false sense of control, and ride the waves of destiny'
Walk into whatever the moment offers me. Stop being at war with myself and just let myself be.
It's an invitation, a suggested experiment, a developmental practice maybe. Perhaps it's an inquiry worth exploring.

What would happen if I just let go?
WIld Geese
Mary Oliver


You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

By Nial O'Reilly June 8, 2026
A new European survey of psychiatric trainees , published in March, lands a finding that should not surprise anyone and yet keeps surprising the system: 63% had no leadership training in their programme, every single respondent said there should be, and those who did receive some were, on average, dissatisfied with it. The diagnosis is correct. The treatment being prescribed worries but does not surprise me. Look at how the survey — and the institutions responding to the same gap — define “leadership.” It is a list of competencies to be acquired: communication, teamwork, public speaking, professionalism, networking, media interaction. The EPA’s new Leadership Academy, launched last year and a genuinely welcome initiative, describes its aims in almost identical terms: enhancing communication skills, team management, presentation and public speaking technique. Even the UEMS mandate, which I’m glad exists, asks trainees to “acquire and continuously maintain” leadership skills. Acquire and maintain. Those are horizontal verbs. They describe the addition of capabilities to a person whose way of making sense of the world is treated as fixed. But notice what the survey authors keep tripping over without the language to name it. They report that the transition from trainee to consultant — the increase in responsibility, and crucially the increase in “awareness about limitations” — changes which skills people value, and they cite this as a driver of leadership development. That is not skill acquisition. That is a shift in how a person constructs meaning, authority and their own role. In the language of adult constructive-developmental theory, and what we recognise in Harthill a s movement between Action Logics — the kind of vertical growth that no competency checklist can deliver, because the checklist assumes the meaning-maker stays the same while only the toolkit grows. This matters beyond psychiatry. The paper itself notes that the COVID pandemic was what “firmly established” leadership as central to medical identity. Yet what that period actually exposed in healthcare leaders was rarely a deficit of communication technique. It was the struggle to hold complexity, ambiguity and competing legitimate demands without collapsing into false certainty or paralysis. That is a capacity of mind, not a line on a syllabus. You can be an extraordinarily skilled communicator and still be overwhelmed by a problem that exceeds your current way of organising reality. So here is the risk. Europe has correctly diagnosed that medical leadership training is absent. The instinct now is to fill the vacuum quickly, and the fastest thing to reach for is a competency framework — definable, teachable, assessable. We will end up training the what of leadership while leaving untouched the who that determines whether any of it transfers under pressure. None of this is an argument against the EPA Academy or against teaching skills. Skills matter. The point is sequencing and depth: horizontal capability sits on a vertical foundation, and a leader’s stage of development shapes whether they can even use the skills we give them. The same conflict-resolution training lands entirely differently on an Expert-stage clinician defending technical correctness and an Achiever-stage one balancing outcomes across a team — and differently again on someone beginning to question the systems they operate inside. The opportunity for the medical leadership community is to build the vertical dimension in from the start, rather than discovering in ten years that the competency programmes plateaued. The evidence is already pointing there. The survey’s own most-favoured modality — a blend of theory and lived practice, reflected on over time — is exactly the experiential, inquiry-based structure that supports developmental growth, and exactly what most current provision lacks. Diagnose the gap as horizontal, and you fill it horizontally. Recognise that what complexity demands is bigger minds, not just fuller toolkits, and you build something that lasts. Santos et al., “Leadership skills training needs of early career doctors: a European survey,” Academia Mental Health and Well-Being, 2026.
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Working with thousands of current leaders and ‘soon-to-be’ leaders over the last 25 years... Harthill gets asked one question more than any other: "Where should I start?". The answer is easier, and harder, than you think. All the great leaders that we have seen quickly realise that that their #1 responsibility is to manage themselves, their personal discipline and their own personal growth. If you cannot lead yourself, then you cannot lead others. And, the leader you are going to be tomorrow, you are becoming today. What differentiates leaders on any day is not their personality, or style. Rather, it’s how they interpret their surroundings and respond. What differentiates leaders on any day in the future are the choices they made for their own development in the past. Relatively few people try to understand their own map of the world, and fewer still have explored the possibility of changing it. (Back to: 'If you cannot lead yourself, you cannot lead others!'). If you think you would like to develop your leadership capabilities, Harthill has a specific tool that you can use. It shows you the way to take a voyage of personal understanding and development to transform not only your own capabilities but also your team and your organisation. Please get in touch with me if you would like to know more about it.